My family Tree
What is a matriarch? A mother, a leader, a role model, a strength, a believer...
It is so easy to get caught up in the "mommy/parenting world". I find I attempt to be someone else. Someone I see at the market, on t.v, in a book, at school, a friend, a blogger, or even my own parent. I don't want to be just another cookie cutter mom that I see so many of, and yet I admit I fall prey. I find myself obsessing over how I can be better then or as good as these other moms... have what they have for their kids, do what they do for their kids, or be who they are to their kids. Should I be working? Should I remain a stay at home mom? Should I have help? I feel as if I will never be able to provide enough for my children. I recognize this is not reality and that I am creating these issues for myself, and I see other moms struggle with this as well. It is like a black hole of destruction, causes more damage to us all rather then allowing ourselves to be the person we truly are. The one person we do know best and should trust best. Believe in our own selves. I can only be a true matriarch when I be me, and rise above all the bull shit I create. Then and only then do I notice this beautiful rippling effect it has on my children, husband, and everyone around me. No one is perfect. And no parent is perfect. We are inevitably going to screw up our kid some way or another, but that is what gives them character. When we lose our sense of selves by trying to be something we are not this only takes away our souls and our children's souls. I need to be reminded of this often and writing it here will reinforce this for me. I can look back on this post and be reminded to let go of all the bs and just be me. The matriarch I know I am.
